There is arguably no other part of life that holds such power over us. Sex and romance dominate our ideals for a successful life, yet we experience more shame in the brokenness of our sexuality than in any other area. Why is that? Is our sexuality a blessing or a curse? How can we acknowledge its very real power and at the same time not allow it to define who we are? We tend to place our identity in our feelings, in our sexual orientation, in our perceived success or failure in this area. But Jesus invites us to place it instead in him- in his love, his forgiveness, and his ability to renew us by his grace. Wrapped in the intimate embrace of our Father, we are able to bear our secrets, ask our questions, and admit our weakness in this realm. Despite the fear and carefulness with which the church has often spoken (or not spoken) about sexuality, God is not afraid of our desires, our addictions, our failures, or our hopes. 

Below are a few resources to help guide us in the journey of aligning our sexuality with life in Christ. 

 

general

Passion & Purity: Learning to Bring Your Love Life under Christ's Control (Baker), by Elizabeth Elliot 

True Love in a World of False Hope (IVP), by Robbie Castleman

God Loves Sex: An Honest Conversation about Sexual Desire and Holiness (Baker), by Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III 

Authentic Human Sexuality: An Integrated Christian Approach (IVP), by Judith K. Balswick and Jack O. Bailiwick 

Sexuality and the Christian Hope: A Talk by Tim Keller

 

in marriage

Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage (Revell), by Ed M.D. Wheat 

A Celebration of Sex: A Guide to Enjoying God's Gift of Sexual Intimacy (Thomas Nelson), by Douglas E. Rosenau 

 

LGBTQ

Redeeming Sex: Naked Conversations About Sexuality and Spirituality (IVP), by Debra Hirsch

Love is an Orientation (IVP), by Andrew Marin 

Compassion without Compromise (Bethany House), by Adam T. Barr and Ron Citlau 

Same Sex Attraction and the Church: The Surprising Plausibility of the Celibate Life (IVP), by Ed Shaw 

Understanding Gender Dysphoria (IVP), by Mark A. Yarhouse 

 

Healing from Sexual Brokenness

The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse (NAVPress), Dan B. Allender 

Strength in Weakness: Healing Sexual and Relational Brokenness (IVP), by Andrew Comiskey 

Closing the Window: Steps to Living Porn Free (IVP), by Timothy Chester 

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain (IVP), by William M. Struthers